OGDEN — Local man Gary Pruitt, 54, spent much of Saturday passionately defending Utah liquor laws he has fundamentally misunderstood since 1997, sources confirmed. “The Founding Fathers did not fight a revolution so you could buy wine next to the cereal,” Pruitt explained, incorrectly, of a grocery store in Idaho he had driven two hours to visit. At press time, Pruitt was explaining that the state liquor store’s hours are “actually a blessing” while standing in its parking lot at 7:04 p.m., four minutes after closing.
Photo: Tony Webster (CC BY 2.0), via Wikimedia Commons